So this topic kept popping up today. Like every other day, looming over most of our shoulders, that desire to be thin, even if you are, the desire to be thinn(er) is almost always there.
A lot of us have been complaining, that the nearness of exams has eliviated stress levels and caused us to eat like we've never seen food before (i know i have), and in turn feel much larger then we actually are.

For some reason my biology teacher feels the need to constantly remind me that aneroxics die of heart attacks. And that it's really dangerous to stop eating because the body will sacrifice anything to keep the brain alive, even the tissues of the heart and thus causing them to die of heart attacks.

Then later on, in chemistry, the idea of bulimics and the erosion of their teeth and nails came up.

Feeling gross because we havn't excerised regularly.

I don't know why today i really noticed all of these comments. But i feel i should talk a little about this shy topic, just to express how i feel about it, because it comes up so regularly in our day to day lives.

I don't think it's fair, why do some people have fast metabolisms and others slow ones? I mean those with fast ones are skinnier but their bodies don't properly absorb nutrients and such, whereas those with slower metabolisms tend to be larger yet their bodies properly use the nutrients absorbed. So why can't we all have regular metabolic rates? and absorb nutrients like we should, but store a lot less fat?
I sometimes envie those who have taken on an ana or mia lifestyle. With the self control they possess, it's hard not to. I don't personnally wish that sort of life upon anyone because like i said, it kills. These people are quite litterally, dying to be thin and most of them succeed to achieve one of the two.
Someone who eats a lot should be fat. And someone who doesn't eat much should be thin and that should be the way the world works. But to our unfortunate dismay, it doesn't.
It upsets me when someone who i view as the ideal body image, hates their body. Can you imagine, when someone who is about half your size complains that they're fat? How does that make you feel? Well it makes me feel like the biggest lard to have walked on these grounds.
Why was i not more carful about what i ate and how i spent my time as a child? I feel like maybe if i'd taken up a sport or a healthier lifestyle, then i wouldn't be sitting here feeling the way i do.tt

Here's a video that better explains the life of an ana/mia disordered individual.
The first portion of the video is pretty shocking, even after i've seen it many times before.



I made that video for none other then a food and nutrition class i took last year. Researching about the effects of the disorder made me realize that dying really isn't worth being THAT thin. But that doesn't mean that the desire to be thinner is gone. No i'm afraid that will forever loom over my head, and i just need to learn to accept what i am given.
It won't be easy, but i'll try

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