By with love on Monday, January 11, 2010 @ 6:03 PM
I dont have blonde hair,
I dont have blue eyes,
I am not skinny,
nor can I put up a fight.
I dont dress to impress,
And I definatly wont do what you tell me,
I am me and thats it... thats just me.
I have green eyes,
wide hips and big feet,
hair that bounces, and looks like wheat.
I am not perfect, nor close to it, but can the inside count for once, maybe just a little bit?
Why me I ask, I wonder and I try to see, i know i am not ordinary, but why for some reason, he always chooses the typical girl and not me? Like should i go and die my hair blonde, get coloured contacts and stop eating? At this point my environement and the world we live in, is making me believe that thats my only option. I mean my parents dont make this any easier, I have to live with comments like "maybe you should loose weight, you would look so much better if you shredded 20 pounds, your hair looks better longer, put some make up on, you look like a transvetite." Like thank you very much, for those wonderful comments family.
Once in a while, its amazing to hear something nice for a change. Something positive that doesnt consist of me and my body weight or my looks. No, thats the only thing I do hear them say, so how do I stay confident?
My self confidence is at a zero right now.
Like the boys our age dont seem to be helping either, I mean they obviously go for the beautiful girls, and I dont blame them. Like if I were beautiful I would go for the hot piece of ass. But no because I wasnt that lucky, to be born with that beauty. And yes some say I am different, and pretty in my own way, akward looking, have inside beauty, but to be honest I dont feel it. And the whole personality thing, ya ok, thats bullshit, no one says that or goes for it. Only once your in love and you dont see the person for who they are, but still there must be some sort of physical attraction.
Again I am different, way different, probably qualified to be an alien. Even my closest friends dont know the half of me. I mean its sad but they say i am easy to read, I am not so convinced, because I change my mind all the time. I am a perfectionist but when it comes to me I shatter. I lack self control and confidence, and many other qualities.
Maybe one day a boy will see me for who I am, and my family take me for what I am.
Until then, I am done changing.
Maybe if I look like this one day... we will all be happy.
Favourite Model.
Love Petka, forever and always
6 Comments:
The thing is, no one will be any happier if you look like that. It might seem like it now, but it's a typical "the grass is greener on the other side" mindset. And believe me, most of those "perfect" girls have bigger flaws than us "regular" girls. I know confidence is harder to build than the great wall of China - I have the worlds lowest self esteem, believe me - but you've still got to see what a wonderful person everyone thinks you are. It sounds cliche, but in the end it's all that matters. It won't matter how many boyfriends you had, how big your waistline was, or how straight your nose was. What matters is how people remember you. If they remember you as someone who made their life better, then that's all that matters (in my opinion :)
And Petra you've made my life better x100000000000000 :)
And no you don't look like an alien or a transvestite -___________________________-
xoxo
:D:D chevalier i love your positive feedback always, everytime I see one new comment I get excited because I love when people read my thoughts and share their opinions and views. I love doing this; expressing myself through words. and I feel like people will understand me better through my words. Sometimes its hard to explain my thoughts but i try my best. haha ya I am just saying those were the names I got called a lot so I though I would share with the world.
Thank god we have people like you to remind us what a better world this is and that you dont have to look like everyone else to be beautiful. and for some reason I am beginning to accept that, thats why at the end I said I am done changing because I am sick of listening to people nag about me when they arent so perfect themselves. like why dont you spend more time critizing yourself than me. dont you have better things to do.
i think at the end we just have to stick together. :) (L) Petka
This post sound like poetry. I thought i'd mention. I don't know if that was your intention, but it does.
And i agree with chavalier on the alien and transvestite thing, calm down you're gorgeous.
And trust me, you will get that guuy. Because at least YOU CAN TALK!!!
gahhhhh i can't believe you held up a conversation with HIM! like THE HIM!
lmfao i love you though, and i'm sorry but i just had to build on the imperfection topic in my post.
btw. i really enjoy our blog also.
Love you always
*bracket K bracket* bffls fo life fo sho!
and hearts bracket L bracket, triangle thing and threes! Lmfao
^^ yeah okay.
love you, simply
Haya
hahahha bracket K bracket :)
love our juvenileness :):) .
anyways ya no i wasnt going for it but then it just started to rhyme so i went with it haha.
ya dont worry i wont talk to him again <3
Petra, this is SO untrue! You are so gorgeous! And I'm not saying that just to make you feel better. See, the sad thing is, the media has marred our view of beauty. Beauty like we see in ads, in billboards, in photos..it just doesn't EXIST. You just have to love who you are, who you're becoming. :) If a boy is stupid enough not to go for you because of your voluptuous body (YESSS! ;) Hahaha.) HE IS NOT WORTH IT. He doesn't deserve to have you. And take it from me, appearance plays a smaller role in love than you think. If you love someone for their personality, their attitude, he just suddenly looks hot to you even though he may not be to common people. :P SERIOUS! Love is blind. Haha. :)
PS YOU COULD NEVER LOOK LIKE A TRANSVESTITE!!! Like..I don't know how you even came to that conclusion. :P
my mother came to that conclusion. she says i look like that with eyeliner and heels.
:(
I mean I deal with it alot so its hard for me to get past the fact that I am pretty. like no matter how much people tell you, I still have doubts. but I have learned to accept myself more and more. I mean no one is ever satisfied with them selves completely, but I am trying my hardest.
Its hard when I have so many beautiful people around me everyday, inside and out, I am kinda stuck wondering whats so great about me ? you know? but I guess I just have to wait for that one love. :) :) I am excited to find it !! :) and share it with everyone . love you jemmy! you make me happy. xoxo Petra
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