Urbandictionary defines love as:

Love. Love is the greatest gift God ever gave man. Love is not wanting to go anywhere without her. Love is not caring what other people think about the two of you. Love is when you feel depressed and sickly when you're not with her. You feel like your life has no meaning or purpose without her. And that if she wasn't holding your hand you would float away to heaven from where she came. Love is caring for her physically and emotionally. It's telling her everyday, anytime, anywhere, anyhow, for no just reason that you love her. Love is telling her u want to spend the rest of your life with her. Love is wanting to marry her even tho ya'll haven't been dating that long. That you would do anything and everything for her. It's the feeling that you would give up everything just to see her smile or look into her beautiful eyes or hear her soft, soothing voice. Love is pure happiness. Love is the feeling you get when all you have to do is think of her and it brings a smile to your face and a yourning to your heart. Love is not being able to think about nething but her. Love is having the sweetest dreams about her and waking up with a smile on ur face. Love is an overwelming feeling of pure bliss when the 2 of u kiss. Love is wanting to hold her in ur arms till the end of time. Love is wishing ur time with her never ends, that your lips would be locked together forever, that she'd be in ur arms till the end of time, that u could cuddle with her for all of eternity. Love is being helplessy and deeply in love with her and knowing your love for her and your feelings for her will never change/end. Love is the world, the world is love, and she is the world to me...

So this definition pretty much sums up the perfect fantasy every girl would like to have. Now if we really think about it how many times does this come true. No really, really turns out to be perfect forever and always? Maybe one percent out of a million. Its sad to think that these days people marry with that option that if it doesnt work out there is always divorce. My number one fear in life is divorce. I do not, I repeat, I do not ever want to go throught that. That's why no matter how long it takes I will look for that "special" man. And I know that these days 80 percent of marriages end, and I dont even know if I ever will get married or for that fact want to get married. But I just hate thinking how many people take advantage of marriages and how it's not the same thing it used to be. Why would you spent thousands of dollars on a dress, catering, the perfect place, hosts, photographer etc. and for what?

Don't get me wrong there are many cases like the husband cheats on you, or tries to murder your family or whatever and those are acceptable reasons to file a divorce, but there are those odd people who just dont take it seriously.

I can go on forever. And I wont. But that definition up there is something remarkable. Something not many of us find. And it scares me, because I do want to find that true love. That one who completes me. And why should I be the lucky one?

My parents are my role models. They have been married for 17 years and still manage to keep that fire burning passion. They rarely fight, and if they do, my dad will apoligize even though he knows my mother was the one to blame. They go out dancing, to the movies, they make out on the couch like teenagers, every day when my dad comes home, he goes straight to my mother and kisses her and tells her he loves her. Through thick and thin, they are unbreakable, I have never seen anyone more in love. This scares me, because how can I even slightly come close to that sort of life, with my kind of luck? And so far, I have not succeeded because I am not perfect and I do not look for love. Maybe that's my mistake. But I am not ready to dress up in a tight mini skirt, put on a bra and 4 inch heels and walk out the door, into a club or party with 5 bottles in my hand. Definatly not my cup of tea.

And can I please for once in my life get the guy I want to have, for just once in my life? Honestly I know I am not the only one and why should I get to have the chance. And I understand that, but I think if I do, I can make him extremely happy. I am waiting for my chance, to love and to hold someone with all that I have. I am waiting to be exposed and opened to new experiences, heights and fears.

The old saying is good things come to those who wait. But how long? how long will this take? I am sure millions of people can relate to me, men and women. This blog won't change anything, but I question people's wants sometimes.


So what is true love? Is it a simple I love you, or a hand in marriage? Everyone has their own definition, and every definition has a deeper meaning. The best one is personal.

I do not have that personal answer for you yet, but I promise once I find it, I will share it with the world.

If your crazy you wont like this. This does not require an explanation.



Love, Petka

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