Why can't it all just be easy? Why can't we all be equally smart, equally athletic and equally involved? Okay i understand "then everyone would be the same and life would be boring blah blah blah" but can we atleast each get a forte somewhere?!

I didn't think i was a dumb person. But i'm finding it increasingly difficult to understand why i can't decide on what i want to do with the rest of my life, does that make me a dumb person?

I feel like i should know what i want to do with my future, find out what i'm good at and roll with it, but the thruth is, and not to sound arrogant or what ever, but i'm good at everything (at least acedemically related). I'm not saying i'm amazing, no, that would be a lie, but i do equally well in all my classes, so how am i supposed to know which i'm better at?

So in the past, i've wanted to be: an artist. an interior designer. an architect. someone in the ticketing and reservation field. a family doctor. a pediatrician. a pediatric oncologist. and apparently now i'm leaning more towards working in external affaires.

So pretty much i'm screwed.
My mind changes constantly and i'm worried that once i start something, i will hate it and keep changing majors and eventually drop out of university out of frustration. Maybe it's too early to think like that ?

I'd really like to get into social sciences. I know that sounds sort of fail, but it really does have some interesting classes. I don't think i'm cut out to be a doctor, not because i feel i won't make it, but because i feel i wont be happy doing it.

But if i go into the things i like, will i be looked down upon? Everyone expects me to be great, and to really achieve and be amazing at everything. I'm sorry. But i'm not, nor will i ever be, and it would be great if the rest of the world (or at least the people around me) could understand that.
My capacity for learning is high, i can say that much, but i only really retain information that intrests me, so if i don't like it, i won't care about it.

So now i'm torn. How am i supposed to decide my future at this age?

On the bright side of things i took out my longboard today. It got a little slippery in a few areas from the snow and what not, but ultimatly it was just as enjoyable as ever.

But it seemed everyone was staring me down, partially because i was longboarding in the dead of winter and partially because i had my younger brother riding on the front of the board. Some little kid even asked "Is that safe" to which i repied yes, although realistically speaking, it probably wasn't.

By the way sorry for ranting on the same topic Chevalier (cardhousedreams) But i'm freaking out,why must we choose NEXT year's courses this year?


On a side note. Our school is pretty fail. A rugby course? really? Well i guess, Go Tigers! we're bound to kick ass.

Love always,
Haya

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