By with love on Sunday, May 2, 2010 @ 2:55 PM
So three years lates, our eyes met at this play thing I was volunteering at. My mother's best friend decided to take me, to help her sell tickets and organize the tables, so I accepted the offer. So two hours past and the faces started to blur as we sold over 100 tickets, I felt like a mechanical machine, because the process of ripping tickets and taking money was stuck to my head, I didnt even look up anymore. I was not thinking, but I did notice that cute guy with the hat staring at me from the distance. I tried not to think of it as anything and I continued to sell tickets. About 10 minutes before the show, I noticed three guys standing outside and the one in the hat was one of them. And then there he was, my biggest nightmare became reality in about 5 seconds. I pictured this moment in my head about 500 times and I each time I punched him either in the head or spit in his face. To my suprise when our eyes locked my mouth fell open and so did his. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg that was the message I send my three dearest friends. I was freaking out.
I have learned from this night that I have to learn how to fogive and forget. We didn't exactly clear things up or even bring up our past history, but it was sure akward not to feel the grey cloud above our heads. Somehow we ended up alone outside and when he passed me that gum, flashbacks from those nights came spinning through my head, I quickly got on the topic of his girlfriend to avoid any inappropriate thoughts.
I missed you, I forgot how amazing of a girl you are. We used to be friends. blah blah blah.
I didnt budge when he said hello the first three times, but you can tell he was trying to make conversation. Its like nothing ever happened. I dont know if I liked that or hated him for not caring. Then again I realized he still cared, because his sudden smiles, winks and hand gestures proved otherwise.
He made me what I am today. And I love him for that.
I mean we are pretty much friends now, I have to get over it and over the fact that we were both young and stupid and it was both of our faults combined. I have to stop blaming the world for my mistakes. Last night I felt so proud of my self for the way I acted and handled the situaion. I mean he had to work for me, and he followed my little game, surprisingly. It was nice, I can always have a conversation with him about anything and in a way he made me feel good about many things. He told me to wait with love and that it will soon come my way. That I look good and that I grew up i na good way. Obviously to not drink and smoke even though he bought me a drink but ok. It was an interesting night. It was nice to see him, even though all the things I wanted to tell him, suddenly didnt matter when I saw him. Is this good or bad?
Maybe some things are meant to be unspoken.
Silenced
I am truly happy for him.
He is happy now, and I am sure on my way to be too.
I guess the closure I wanted, I got.
Love Petra.
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